Even though we’ve been together since we met at school, and brought up three kids, and travelled all over Europe, and shared all the highs and lows all that entails, and now we’re just facing what we hope will be a long retirement together, we’ve still never sat down and had ‘that talk’ about what we’d like to happen should one of us be taken ill or have an accident – or even die.
It’s the kind of thing you never get round to, while things are going well.
So we were half-dreading thinking about all of that when we opened a Nutshell each about our wishes.
In fact it was really easy – even fun! – once we got going, and bits of it we shared, even wrote together.
We followed the questions about whether we favoured burial or cremation, and where we would like that to happen, or where we’d like ashes to be scattered, and it got us remembering lots of wonderful places we’d visited which had stayed special to us. We found songs and hymns that we’d like to have sung and then uploaded them into our Nutshells (and had a good old sing-song when found we didn’t know each other’s favourites).
We had a real laugh with the informal bequests. We’ve had a Will for years, but that’s only about the big stuff like the house and car; in fact it prompted us to review that Will as lots of things have changed over the years and we want to make sure everything’s fully covered.
When it came to leaving private, last messages, these were the bits we kept really private. There’s so much I want to say to my husband, but it’s really hard to blurt out, without sounding either soppy or dramatic. I know he knows deep down, but I keep thinking that when the inevitable happens, if I’m left without him I’ll find those last words he’s written really, really important. And there are messages there also for the kids and our grand-daughter.
Finally, we’ve told our sons what we’ve done and that we’ve lodged the access details with our solicitor, alongside our Wills – just in case.
We can go back and amend anything in our Nutshells at any time, as life changes. But now we’ve recorded our last wishes – and found it surprisingly cheerful to do – we can get on with enjoying retirement feeling just a little happier about what should happen if one or both of us are incapacitated – we’ve made it easier for those left coping to know exactly what we would have wanted.
It's easy to think you'll live forever when you're young.
But now we have a growing family, we realise it's vital to put our affairs in order; if one of us is taken ill, the other will know where everything is and what to do.
But my grandchildren have been interviewing me on their phones and on video, and now they've recorded my memories in a Nutshell - I can't wait to see it.
