When my Mum died last year, my brother and I fell out
My brother and I were close as children but in recent years we drifted apart - we lived a long way away and I suppose we were both busy with our families.
So when Mum died suddenly and it was left to the two of us to make all the arrangements, there was bound to be some disagreement really. I just didn't realise it would be so difficult - we both felt really strongly that we knew best what Mum would have wanted, when in actual fact neither of us had ever had any conversation with her about her own wishes so we were both in the dark.
First it was about funeral arrangements and who to invite, even whether to bury or cremate and where to lay her to rest, whether where she grew up or where she eventually settled.
We fell out pretty badly, harsh words were exchanged on both sides - our parters did what they could to smooth it over but at times like that it's amazing how passionately you find you care.
Anyway, we sorted it all in the end - we realised our falling out was the last thing Mum would have wanted, and compromises were made on both sides. It was a beautiful funeral and we are all left with lovely memories and are better friends as a result, if anything.
But it made me realise I didn't want my own family to go through anything like that ever. I've answered all the questions in Your Wishes in a Nutshell and I don't think there can be any doubt now that I've made my own wishes clear - and left personal messages for everyone to say all the things I feel daft saying to their faces. My access details are in with my Will in case they're needed - let's hope it won't be too soon! - and I feel so much better that I've done it, I can forget about it until I want to change anything as the kids grow up and life changes.
It's easy to think you'll live forever when you're young.
But now we have a growing family, we realise it's vital to put our affairs in order; if one of us is taken ill, the other will know where everything is and what to do.
But my grandchildren have been interviewing me on their phones and on video, and now they've recorded my memories in a Nutshell - I can't wait to see it.
Lots of things are hard to talk about - at any age.
But now we've recorded our last wishes we can get on with enjoying retirement together, knowing that those left behind will have greater peace of mind.
